Updated: Jul 27, 2019
So my mum says I'm a softy and I should toughen up .She’s been saying this since I was a kid , and said it to me again on the weekend … of course in a loving way .Even though life’s experiences have left its coats of armour which I am surely and steadily de armouring.
I am a softy … always have been . I was a sensitive kid who loved animals, Pollyanna and lying on my back for hours making shapes in the clouds. I was the type of kid who cried easily and felt for the down and out kids/people of the world.
I love my” softness “ as in it lies compassion and empathy for others, and something I’m learning to give more and more to myself . But as I’ve grown I’ve also realised that under this softness lies a lack of self-confidence and assertiveness in certain areas of my life. Especially when it comes to setting clear boundaries for myself and being clear on my projection to other people around my boundaries .This lack also comes from wearing a “people pleaser “ tag , which I'm happy to say wearing out.
Over the years of life’s lessons , I have learnt more and more to listen and act on my intuition when she first whispers to me that a given situation just isn’t feeling right .
Though I still at times ignore my gut and hence, the movie repeats. Same story , just different actors . And even though I have improved my ability to say no …. enough is enough…. I obviously haven’t got it up to scratch yet ,as the universe is still sending along people /situations that challenge me to drop deeper , grow more aware of my emotions and reactions. Its in these situations that have challenged me to look for outcomes that are presenting from a more heart based and grounded place,more than ego driven from the head. And most of all ……it makes me own my own Sh***t .